No Blood Between Us — A tribute to Sarah Hegazi

Sarah Hegazi, 30, ended her life after she was arrested, imprisoned, isolated, sexually assaulted and otherwise tortured, for raising a rainbow flag at a music concert. She left a handwritten note in Arabic:

‘To my siblings — I tried to find redemption and failed, forgive me.
To my friends — the experience was harsh and I am too weak to withstand it, forgive me.
To the world — you were cruel to a great extent, but I forgive.’

This poem was written in tribute to her memory.

No Blood Between Us

By Ann Lee and Juana Jaafar

There is no blood between us,
But she was no stranger,
Let me tell you why.

There is no blood between us,
But she was my s/kin,  
Let me tell you why.

There is no blood between us,
But she has a myKad too,
Let me tell you why.

There is no blood between us,
But she was my sister,
She liked women and song,
Went one time, to sing-a-long,
2017, the night rocked on,
Spread the joy online.

Later, at home, when all was quiet,
Men in arms burst into riot,
Grown-up boys with deadly toys,
Flexing their anti-fun at the curtains.
Agama apa?
Tudung mana?
Masih dara?
We know this language too. 

There is no blood between us,
But she was my s/kin,
For three months, she was imprisoned,
Electrocuted, isolated, sexually assaulted,
Yet still, she made to remember,
One year later, she wrote in Mada Masr,
(last one standing, like Malaysiakini)
‘I stuttered when I spoke –
I was in terror. I was unable
To leave my room. My memory
Deteriorated further. I avoided
Speaking about jail, avoided gatherings
Avoided appearing in the media, because
I would easily lose focus and feel lost,
Overcome by a desire for silence.’

…

Her knowing was in itself
a resistance.

…

There is no blood between us,
But she was my peer,
Yeah, you can have a career,
Even when you’re queer!
Yeah, a software engineer!
She was also a scholar,
‘Research methods’,
‘Feminism and social justice’,
‘Diversity and inclusion in the workplace’,
And, as if she needed to be schooled,
‘Understanding violence’. 

There is no blood between us,
But she was from my nation,
From Cairo to Kuala Lumpur,
As she put it, ‘the race of religiosity’,
Who destroy to save; kill to cure,
Corrupt to stay pure,
Gain strength by meek seeking,
Who devil when they justify
Being closer to God,
By doing the unjustifiable.

There is no blood between us,
But she shared my belief:
‘Whoever saves one (life), it is as if
they had saved humankind entirely.’
— Al-Qur’an, 5:32

There was no blood between us,
But she lives in me.

See more letters by LGBTQ Malaysians here:

Ann Lee is a playwright and researcher.
Juana Jaafar writes, sometimes.