10 LGBTIQ+ Persons Share Our Most Awkward Dates in Malaysia
By PLUHO.
If dating is hard, then dating as an LGBTQ+ person in Malaysia is impossible! We have to put up with so much more nonsense than our straight compatriots. Aside from finding out your date is a complete asshole, we have to deal with discrimination, familial rejection, and internalised homophobia/transphobia. What a turn on, right?
But alas, the one thing we can all relate to is a bad date. So we asked our members what their most awkward, weird and funny dates were and here were 10 of their responses.
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Help, my date’s a Nazi!
“Found someone online then after 4 weeks of chatting decided to meet up. He starts talking about Nazism: ‘Hitler did nothing wrong, he cleansed the world and the Aryan race are superior, the jews deserved it.’ I said, Bro, you Chinese, Hitler would have put you in gas chamber too.’ So after 30 minutes of trying to understand I gave up and went home mentally exhausted as fuck”.
‒ 25, cis man, gay, Penang
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No Means No
“This one date who wouldn’t take no for an answer. I wanted to leave early because I was honestly tired and I wanted to sleep early. He persuaded me to do dinner and then after dinner, when I tried to call a cab, he took me to a nearby casino telling me that we would get a cab there. Turns out, he then wanted to go for a round of Roulette. I don’t like gambling and I didn’t want to pay, but he paid for chips and pressed them into my hand. I told him gambling with someone else’s money is bad luck. He didn’t care. His RM100 went with the wind and finally he let me leave. I was exhausted by the end of that and I turned down his next date.”
‒ 22, cis woman, asexual aromantic, Puchong
The person who shared this story mentioned the difficulty of men taking ‘no’ as an answer and how women are put in the very difficult position of being firm with men who are overly insistent. The threat of violence occuring is very real to women.
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“Networking”
“This stranger from Facebook who wanted to meet me to discuss some business proposal which turned out to be some MLM (Multi-Level Marketing). Somehow the conversation turned personal and he was more interested in having a sexual favour. Exited the conversation and never met him again.”
‒ 31, cis man, gay, Kuala Lumpur
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Papa don’t Preach
“I met this guy and everything went well until he initiated a conversation regarding religion. He began preaching to me and inviting me to go to church with him that coming Sunday. I declined and told him that everyone has their own belief. He gave me that disgusted look and blurted ‘oh you are going to hell if you don’t repent’. I was so scared because he was rather emotional. Luckily my phone rang and I lied to him that I got something urgent. I got out of his car and we never met again.”
‒ 26, cis man, gay, Sarawak
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New year, first kiss?
“My first boyfriend, we were both 19, both totally inexperienced. It was a New Years Eve party, and when it was near midnight we went for a walk away from the house. When the clock ding’d midnight, he leaned in to kiss me (bear in mind neither of us had ever ever kissed before, EVER!), and I was super excited and leaned in to kiss him too. It wasn’t what I expected. It was wet and sloppy and it felt like he was trying to eat my face… It left me a little grossed out. We never kissed again after that until the end of the relationship. It was mostly LDR (long distance relationship) so we didn’t have that much contact anyway.”
‒ 32, cis woman, bisexual, grew up in PJ, lives in London
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Malaysian Horror Story
“Scariest date. Gosh I must have been like 21. So I met this fella after classes and after having some amazing conversations with him for about 2 weeks. The fantasy of him dissipated as soon as he arrived. He didn’t match his picture and there was this weird gut instinct for me to leave, which I ignored for a bit. We started chatting and he was sipping his drink and suddenly his straw went blood red. I totally freaked and messaged for an immediate SOS to a good friend and bolted. His about 20 calls and messages went unanswered for a while until I told him I wasn’t really keen on meeting up again. The bleeding was definitely the last straw.”
‒ 38, cis man, gay, Selangor
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The Maneater
“He expressed that in order for us to be together he wants to cut me up and eat. We were at Nandos and he was slicing the chicken like a surgeon. Yup.”
‒ 32, cis man, gay, Petaling Jaya
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Astaghfirullah
“Met my now boyfriend at jonker street for a quick first date (it wasn’t even a relationship yet, it was just a asking-crush-out-to-a-date thing… so I was his crush). We held hands in public and he was afraid and hyperventilating. He couldn’t stop giggling for a good 10 minutes and spewed ‘Ya Allah Astaghfirullah’ over and over and I thought it was hysterical.”
‒ 29, trans man, bisexual, Petaling Jaya
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The health freak
“My favourite has to be the shortest date of all, when I was still driving a car. He threw my cigarettes out of the car, so I left him by the side of the road looking for them.”
‒ 35, cis man, gay, Shah Alam
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The disappearing act
“It was my 25th birthday and had a pair of free tickets from TGV. Figured I’d ask a guy from Tinder out, and invite him to watch The Jungle Book at Wangsa Walk.
“He agreed, and asked if I could pick him up as he doesn’t drive. So I drove to his place and went straight to the cinema.
“The movie started and he seemed to be enjoying it. However, halfway through, he said that he wanted to go to toilet. I said, ‘okay’. Half an hour later, he still hasn’t returned to his seat and I was concerned. So I texted him and he replied, ‘Oh got to go, a friend wanted to see me.’ And I asked whether he’s okay and if something’s wrong?
“Then he blocked me on whatsapp!
“Until now I’m curious, even if it’s THAT bad, why couldn’t he just wait until the movie finished. And how did he go home since I’m the one driving? Oh well.”
‒ 27, cis man, gay, grew up in Kedah, living in KL
Compiled and written by: Ryan Ong
On behalf of PLUHO (People Like Us, Hang Out!)
For definitions of the terms on sexual orientation and gender identity and expression, please check our Glossary.
